To overflowing

I've struggled to write lately because... I'm overwhelmed by my feelings.  I don't think I can get them down in words.  There are so many different things happening the the hearts of our family, maybe because our children our getting to an age where their faith is maturing rapidly, or maybe because they are walking through hard places where they have not been required to walk before.  The hard places have always been where those deep wells of Gods grace and provision have been carved out in my life and in Phil's.   I must admit that I looked toward these teenage years with some anxiety, but I was very very mistaken.  I underestimated the joy, the encouragement, the gratitude that I would feel upon hearing a son say, "Mom, if we had known each other as kids, I know we would have been best friends" or a daughter bringing her hopes, hurts, convictions and passions to us to talk through.  

 

God is working overtime in our household right now enlarging mine and Phil's hearts.  Our travels to Peru, Dominican Republic, Phil to Africa have opened the hearts and minds of our entire family to possibilities we would never have dreamed feasible before.  God is really not about feasible.  We have noticed.  We want more of those "I can't do this, He is going to have to show up, WOW here He is, look what He has done" experiences.  Once you taste them, there is really no going back.  

 

And I've noticed, it is much about love and fear.  "Perfect love casts out all fear".  I've read that many times.  I didn't really get it. I'm getting it now.  God's love for me casts out my fears, cancels them, makes them void and powerless.  God's love for my children comforts me in my fears for them, renders them silly, useless, and false.  God's love for Phil empowers him to love us, touch hurting people, find purpose in his work; it dissolves his fear of the future, making a mistake, harm touching his family.  God's love for all of us, his self sacrificing, relentless, overwhelming love for us abolishes all fear of what His plans for us might hold.  He has shown Himself to be loving and merciful, wise and astounding, to this point in our lives.  His faithful love for us will continue to be sufficient in the future.  It is all of these things, and more that I cannot express, which have filled my heart to overflowing. 

"God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we're free of worry.....  .....There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love."      1 John 4: 17-18 the message 

"...with freedom and with confidence."

Current State of affairs:  Basketball season has officially begun.  Basketball season is a great time at our house because all four kids play so everyone understands and really gets into the game.  Everyone enjoys watching each other, though that is fairly rare.  The downside is that with 90 games in 95 days, Phil and I do not get to see everyone play every game.  That is STILL difficult for us.  This year we have actually mapped out a schedule to make sure each of us get to see each child play around the same number of games.  I think maybe we get to be at the SAME game three times:(  So if you only see one of us at the gym, or neither of us, please cheer for the Newman who is playing and know we are watching another child somewhere else.  

Hannah's primary sport is basketball and we all admire her hard work, including getting to school at 6:15 or 6:45 for practice three days per week and staying til 6 most days, all of which has made her a stronger better player.  She will be playing with Oakland's varsity this year at  guard, and is a definite shooting threat.  Oakland's team has worked incredibly hard conditioning for this season, and what they lack in size they have in speed.  We are amazed at the progress Hannah has made.

Because everyone plays, the kids work together to get better in the driveway, in the garage, and whenever possible at the PCA gym.  Peter and David sometimes get to help with Cameron's practices.  Peter will often say to Cameron, "let's go outside, I want to show you something you could do."  Peter has learned to "teach" in a manner that is easily accepted, that does not feel like criticism.  

 

Peter is playing on the first PCA High School Boy's team as an eighth grader and also on PCA's Middle School team with David.   There is something wonderful as a parent about seeing two or more of our children working together on an athletic field, like the fast break last week when Peter made a strong pass to David who completed the lay up.  It really is very special. Peter is working hard for both teams and it is requiring a great deal of time.  We have to be careful that everyone has enough time for school work and SLEEP.  David is a solid addition to the PCA Middle School team as a guard.  David has also developed a habit of getting up early before school to hit baseball's off the Tee in our garage, baseball being the first love of both David and Peter.    

 

Cameron is playing on a 5th and 6th grade team for PCA and also on a team of 5th and 6th graders on a competitive team that will play together fall and spring.  Basketball may emerge as Cameron's primary sport as well.  He is fun to watch, I think because of all the time he has spent playing with and trying to keep up with Hannah, Peter and David at home.  

  

We talk constantly at our house about playing for God's glory.  What does that mean?  Is it just a thank you to God at the end of a great game, giving Him the credit?  It is certainly that, but is it only that?   I have come to believe that a large part of playing for His glory lies in freedom.  The freedom to succeed or to fail, the freedom to play with abandon regardless of the outcome because your purpose in PLAYING is to honor Him with your gift, your health, your body, your life.  This mindset frees my children from fear of a mistake, fear of "letting the team down",  fear of  correction from a coach (or parent for that matter).  If our identity lies in the freedom we have in Christ, then our identity is not affected by our performance in athletics or any other endeavor.  That is the freedom Phil and I hope for our children, and for ourselves.  

 

Well there you have it.  This season consists of crock pot dinners eaten at odd hours, meals out after games, homework in the car and whenever possible, working hard to get enough sleep, constant stream of uniforms and practice gear to wash,  never enough underamour, the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat and the goal of playing with abandon in freedom as a Child of God.  I would only hope the very same freedom for us all.  

"In Him and through faith in Him we may approach God with freedom and with confidence." Ephesians 3:12

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free."  Galations 5:1

A Few of my Favorite Things

It has occurred to me that there are certain simple things in my life that brings me a great deal of joy, disproportionate to their apparent worth or actual value.  Now I am not talking about joy as compared to the joy of relationships with my family and friends or my Lord and Savior.   More like everyday kind of pleasure in using something that is just right for the job or that adds beauty to everyday life.  Do you have those things, too?  For example, I love my handheld stick blender.  Really, really love it!  It is almost silly - but I love how small it is, taking up little space, I love the way it purees tomatoes right in the can before I add them to cheese dip or chili which makes my non tomato eating child very happy, I love the way it makes a protein shake for me mixing the powder, ice, peanut butter and 1 splenda perfectly smooth like a yummy milkshake in one easy non messy step.  This blender is my favorite gift to give, along with recipes for what it is good for.  

Anyway, my blender love has inspired me to take note of the every day things that bring me joy.  It has also moved me to consider how many "things" I have in my home that DO NOT bring any joy, but rather are robbing me of peace because of the excess.  What if our home only contained  things that we either love or need - that either bring beauty or function? Can you imagine the order... the peace?  All that could be passed along to those who need it?  Time for more questions, isn't it?  (Do I use it, need it, love it?)  

Anyway here is my list..my L list.. a work in progress: (note: this is a list of THINGS, favorites regarding people would be a different and much longer list)

Hand held Immersion Blender which inspired this post(function)

McCarty Popcorn bowls (not used for popcorn, but used for EVERYTHING else)(beauty and function)

McCarty  Tumblers (beauty and function)

Crock Pot Liners (function) Extreme joy when I remember to use one, now I store them IN the crock pot

Stainless Steel Crock Pot with attached lid and removable crock (function)(this one items brings more peace to my home than a week at a spa)

Pampered Chef paring and chef knives, heavy and sharp (function)

Woven straw floral mat, purchased w/ Cameron in the Bahamian straw market that perfectly fits our Lazy Susan. (beauty and function and good memories)

Said Lazy Susan, referred to as the "round thing", still (function)

The pearls Phil gave me for our 14th Anniversary, a significant year in our marriage (beauty)

The Pachelbel Cd that I play when I need a sense of peace as I restore an unorderly house to order in our small and amazing Bose system; that CD never fails to invite said peace. (beauty and function)

My cup of sharpened pencils

The bookshelves, floor to ceiling, in our study and all they contain (function... some beauty)

Mrs. Myers Clean Day Lavender and Lemon Verbena laundry products (function beautiful smells)

additions and photos to follow

I'd love to hear about your favorites ... 

at least the first one off the top of your head....

ready, set, comment!

A Week in our Life (Fall)

I know this post will be completing uninteresting to anyone reading this, and if I knew how to post something but not make it visible to all I would have (does anyone know how to do that?)

Anyway, I was sitting down today to plan meals and think about a routine for household tasks (bc things are NOT getting done), and I started by charting the regular activities of the family to see where tasks fit in best.  Of course Phil's work schedule changes week to week (shifts vary from 5:30am-1:30pm, 8:30am-4:30pm, 10:30am-7:30pm, 1:30pm-9:30pm, 4pm-12midnight, 7:30pm-2:30am, and the beloved night shift - 9pm-6am).  I'm recording the schedule for the week for posterity's sake, to remember what life was like with four children 11-15, before the launch of teenage drivers.  

This week so far:

Sunday

Sunday School/Church 9-12

Cameron baseball 2-4

Phil ER 4-midnight

Cameron Basketball 4:30-6:30

Hannah Peter David small group 5-7 

Dinner 7:30pm

Monday

Peter basketball 3-5

Hannah basketball 3-6

Laurie OPA Meeting 6pm

Cameron basketball 6:15-7:15

Dinner 7:30pm

Hannah Young Life 8-9

Tuesday 

Laurie Bible Study 9-11

Phil ER 8:30-4:30ish

Hannah no school, basketball 12-2

Peter and David basketball 3-4:15

Cameron basketball 3-5

Dinner 5:15pm

Cameron baseball 6-8

Wednesday 

Hannah basketball 6:15am-7:45am

Phil ER 8:30 to 4:30ish

Peter and David basketball 3-4:15

Peter basketball 4:15-5:15

Hannah basketball 3-5

Dogs groomed 4pm

Dinner 5:30pm

Hannah Peter David Youth 6-7:30

Laurie and Phil to dinner w friends 6:15

Thursday 

Hannah FCA 7:30am

Laurie Bible Study 8:30-10:30

Hannah basketball game 3:30-6pm

Peter basketball 3-5

David basketball 3-4:15

Phil nap before night shift

Dinner 5:30

Hannah rehearsal for musical 6-8

Cameron scrimmage 7:15-8:30

Phil ER 9pm-6am

Friday 

Phil Men's Prayer 7am

Phil sleep 8-3

Hannah basketball 3-6

Peter basketball 3-6:15

Dinner out

Smith Bonfire

OHS playoff game 7:30

Phil ER 9pm-6am

Saturday 

Phil sleep 7-3

Cameron basketball games

2pm and 3pm

Hannah party 3:30-10:30am

Dinner  6pm

Phil ER 9pm-6am

McMullan Baby News:)

My news from Jenny Kate this morning is so wonderful, four little McMullen babies are sharing a crib in the "step down" area of the NICU (less critical care)!   Paul and Jenny Kate have been told that Charlotte and Pallie will likely go home "soon", which could mean days or maybe weeks followed by Duncan and Lucy as they are ready.   

The babies must be able to maintain body temperature, take 8 feeding/ 24 hours with a bottle (a lot of work for a little preemie), and consistently gain weight in order to go home. 

Needless to say the prospect of the babies' homecomings is met with great joy and some apprehension.  Thank you for continuing to lift up this lovely young family that God would give them peace and endurance for the task he has set before them, and that He would continue to bless and protect these four tiny little McMullans.

"Paul and I are thrilled at the prospect of having our family together under one roof!  The Lord has been good to us!  We are also terrified by the logistics of being parents to six very young children and would appreciate prayers as the homecoming days approach."  With love,  Jenny Kate

photo top left: Jenny Kate holding Lucy and Pallie, Paul holding Duncan and Charlotte

photo bottom left:  Mollie and the babies

photo right: Pallie, Lucy, Duncan, Charlotte

Charles

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." Isaiah 26:3

"For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him." Col 1:16

Phil spent 12 days in the primary school, medical clinic, and churches supported by our friends Rick and Vicki Rogers and Divine Care Ministries in Uganda, Africa meeting students, pastors and teachers. He met Prossy, the amazing little girl we sponsor at this school. It was amazing to witness what God is doing through these faithful people, and heart wrenching to see how great the need is for resources so that they can do more.

At a church service in a remote area Phil noticed a little boy in a purple shirt sitting alone, very content, massive holes in his shoes. When the service was over and people lingered to visit with the American visitors, Phil noticed that this little boy still sat happily watching all that was going on, but in no hurry to leave. Phil sat down beside him and in visiting with him learned that his name is Charles and that both of his parents are dead. He had walked to church alone. The gentle spirit of this little orphan captured Phil's heart. Phil asked Pastor Peter if he knew the boy and his situation and Peter immediately said, "this boy needs some shoes!" Pastor Peter has developed a heart that sees clearly into the needs of a situation! Peter talked to the church members and learned that Charles was living with a relative, but no other details. Charles sat listening and realized someone was looking into helping him. Pastor Peter said to Phil, "This boy is so happy he can hardly contain his grin!" As Phil left this area and ultimately Uganda, he carried with him a burden for this boy.

A month or so after Phil returned to the U.S. we got this message,
"About the little Charles his situation is very pathetic he and his brother are now working in the stone quarry to get something. This last sunday i invited him to come for the evening services and he told me he could not make it because he works from dawn to dusk. We are inviting him and his little brother to come for christmas. If not then we will send something to their family for christmas."
We (the Newmans) hurt for Charles and his baby brother, to imagine children having to do manual labor from morning to night just to "get something". It was so hard to watch from afar and trust that the Lord and Peter were doing all that needed to be done for these little ones. We were able to send support for the boys, and soon received this message from Peter, "Hope you had a great christmas!! We had a good one and we were honored to have your son Charles as one of our guests! " (Ugandans often refer to the children we sponsor as sons and daughters:) Comforting, but we were so anxious for more detail, more relief!

Well, that relief came in this precious message,
"Praise God Dr. Phil, Laurie and your family? How are you all? Back here we are good, everything is growing, children are growing and the ministry. Thank you so much for your love and support, we pray for God's blessings upon you. Thank you so much Laurie for building up a relationship with the school (meaning PCA) we pray that God will bless you mightily. I am planning to send you pictures about the school and the children at school. And if you need any other information you think would help, please, we are ready to send it. Dr. Phil, we took Charles and his brother to our school, thank you so much, their situation was so pathetic, they had nothing completely. I was at school last week and they were very excited. I teased them, I said I was taking them back, and they shouted a big No!!!!!. Thank you for standing in the gap! Keep us in your prayers please. love you all

Peter and Phoebe.

Praise God for Peter and Phoebe, who are devoted to carrying the burden for little children in Uganda. Divine Grace Primary holds 620+ little ones like Charles. Divine Grace has hundreds of children living at the school and hundreds more walking miles to get there. Some children walk up to 8 miles to school; they are actually dismissed hours early to get home before dark to avoid dangers on the road and from wild animals. Peter told us that many children must swim across a river to get to school; they remove their school uniform and carry it over their head across the river so that it does not get ruined. When the children come to Divine Grace they receive a pair of shoes, but will often walk to school without them in order to “keep them nice”.

McMullan Baby Photos

As of this moment, all four little McMullan babies are in open air cribs, Charlotte with Pallie and Lucy with Duncan!  "It is so incredibly precious to see them  snuggled up together"!  Eventually they will all four be together in one crib; can you imagine all that preciousness in one bed? 

Open air cribs means that the babies have less wires and tubes and look more and more like their beautiful little baby selves.

 It is also just one step in the journey toward going home.:) Thank you again for all of your prayers for my friend Jenny Kate, now mother of six, husband Paul, and big sisters times four, Mollie and Katherine.   You are most appreciated.

"On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers.  Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers on many."  2 Corinthians 10b,11

We have simplified..... repeatedly.  

I mean it.  

We have made difficult phone calls, explained reasons why we cannot ____. 

And yet, I was miserable for days leading up to last weekend .... all in the name of fun.

And I feel the same noose of stress tightening as I look toward the weekend to come.  

I am conceding the impossibility, physical impossibility, of our family calendar.

I know we agreed to (most of) it.  Frankly, it really isn't overboard in any one area. Each child plays one sport at a time, very little overlap if any.    We are involved with things at school, not everything.  Hannah is in choir, boys guitar and drums.   We are involved in youth group. Everyone has social things to do.  Phil has a job.  But it is not working.  

And when I began to despair.... I resolve to reflect. 

What matters? 

What are we trying to accomplish during the years that our children live at home?

In the midst of the compromises, planning ahead, sharing rides with friends, making choices, what do we want our kids (and ourselves) to practice and to learn?

To ask questions.

Why am I doing what I am doing? 

In what way does it matter, help others, develop the traits I/we am striving for?

Does it have temporary or eternal significance? 

What is my motivation for doing it?  Because others are? Source of pride? Is it a should or a want to?  Or is it something I/we are called to?

Does it develop a God given talent in a balanced way?  and bring Him glory?

In what way does it develop character, teach lessons, grow me/us spiritually?

We have so little time with our children at home.  It is necessary to pinpoint our focus and tailor our choices accordingly.  

Repeatedly.

More about the Amazing McMullan Babies

Thank you so very much for your interest, love and prayers for my friend and her little ones whom many of you do not even know!  This young couple is striving to model their faith before countless medical personal, and their 2 young daughters,  in the most stressful of situations and yet God has sustained them through the prayers of so many!  I received this report from Jenny Kate a day or so after the post below:

"I've just returned from the NICU where our babies, --including Lucy and Duncan -- are looking much better today, Praise the Lord!  The doctors aren't sure what caused the virus like symptoms, and we're getting conflicting reports about the level of risk from here on out; but they are agreed that both babies are improving.  They've started Duncan back on his feedings, though at a greatly reduced rate, and they've taken all four babies off of isolation -- which means we can hold them again without wearing masks, gloves, and gowns.

Paul and I reminded each other over and over yesterday that these children belong to the Lord and not to us, and that His will for them is good.  But our hearts still ached with worry and with desire for their health in the last 36 hours, and your prayers and messages were the greatest gift we could have.  I cannot explain the blessing of knowing that people who love us and people who don't even know us are approaching the throne on grace on behalf of our children.  Thank you."

Thank you again, for your loving prayers for my friend.

The McMullan Quadruplets need of prayer

Psalm 112:6-8

"Surely he will never be shaken;

a righteous man will be remembered forever.

He will have no fear of bad news;

his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.

His heart is secure, he will have no fear;

in the end he will look in triumph on his foes."

So many of you have joined me in praying for the safe arrival of the four beautiful little babies belonging to my precious friend Jenny Kate McMullan and her husband Paul, and big sisters Mollie and Katherine.  These four darling little ones were born at 32 weeks gestation, a miracle in itself, on October 7th weighing between 2lb14oz and 3lb14oz.  Three little girls: Lucy Wilder, Elizabeth Pallie, and Charlotte Tindall and one extraordinarily manly little boy, William Duncan are in the NICU at Ochsner's in New Orleans where this family of eight lives.  While the babies have been doing well, and ups and downs are expected, Jenny Kate emailed me this morning with this request:

"Paul and I got a call from the NICU at 3am today because Duncan was having trouble maintaining his body temperature and his heart rate was dropping.  They stopped his feedings and put him on antibiotics, thinking he may have a bacterial infection.  This afternoon, the neonatology section head told us he suspects Duncan may have a viral upper respiratory infection instead.  He fears Lucy may be getting it as well.

We are extremely concerned and ask that you please please pray for these two babies especially.  Please pray that they will be able to get past whatever this episode in the night was.  Please pray that Duncan will not sustain any harm from the antibiotics.  Please pray for the doctors and nurses caring for him and Lucy, that they will have wisdom as they make decisions.  Please pray for Charlotte and Pallie, that they will continue to grow well and that they will not be affected if there is a virus at play.  Please pray for Paul and me, that we will be able to trust all four of these children to the Lord completely and to represent our faith in Jesus well.

From a medical standpoint, there is nothing to be done now except wait, and we don't know when there will be further information.  I will keep you updated as we learn more.

Thank you very much!!"

Jenny Kate

I will try to post of photo or two soon.  Thank you for your prayers for this lovely HUGE family!

Chicago, Fall Break by Cameron Newman

Over Fall Break my Dad went to Africa so we had to go somewhere so we went to Chicago!  We arrived at around noon or 11:30.  We took the train into the city and then walked to our hotel.  The roads were swarming with people in cars and taxis, but not many people walking, surprisingly.  After we checked into our hotel which was 17 floors and we got the 17th floor, we went to eat at the ESPN Zone which is a restaurant, kind of. 

 The ESPN ZONE was three floors high; it had a store, a restaurant, and a huge arcade room.  When you are eating you can watch tons and tons of sports shows and even a tiny TV in our booth.   After we ate we went to Nike Town which is a huge store with lots of Nike stuff. Again the store was three floors high, but I did not buy anything.
  

Next we went shopping a little more and then we went to eat at the best pizza restaurant I have ever eaten at.  It was amazing!! After that we went back to the hotel and watched the movie in Hulk in our beds. 

 

The next morning we got up and ate a huge breakfast at the hotel. 

Then we walked to Navy Pier and got on the tour boat, but it was really cold. The boat took us through downtown Chicago from Lake Michigan on the Chicago River.  After we got off the boat we went inside the huge pavilions at Navy Pier.  There were lots of tiny stores and restaurants inside. I didn't buy anything but it was cool.   

Next we went to the Field Museum which has the biggest complete T-Rex fossil ever, called Sue. We also ate lunch in the museum. Then we

 took a taxi back to our hotel and took a nap until it was time to go to the theater.

We decided we had to eat at that awesome pizza place again, Giordano's.  

Then one of the best parts of the trip we got to go see 

Wicked the play. It was like telling the Wizard of Oz from the Wicked Which of the West's view.  Once the play was over we walked to a deli and then walked to the hotel and went to bed.

Early the next day we got up and packed to leave, but we didn't actually have to leave until 2:30.  We wanted to be ready.  The first place we went straight to the John Hancock Building.  It was huge.  Some lady said we were going 20 to 30 miles and hour in the elevator.  Once we got to the top I immediately looked out the window. All I could see was huge Lake Michigan, it looked like the ocean.  We stayed up there for about 15 or 20 minutes looking at different parts of the city.  At the top of the John Hancock Building there was a little shop and I got a snow globe and a little key chain bear that says Chicago on it.  (When we went to New 

York I got a snow globe

 when we were in the Empire State Building.)  After we left we went to the Cheesecake Factory in the John Hancock Building.  It was sooo good.  As we were walking back to the hotel to get our luggage we stopped in the Disney Store.  And the last place we went before we left was the.... Nike store... (again).

It was definitely an amazing nonforgetful trip.  The End

Just one more day

Phil is coming home tomorrow from 12 days in Uganda, Praise the Lord! I can't wait to post photos from his trip! Just his text messages have expressed what an amazing experience this has been. 

"just saw a huge pig on the back of a moped"

"I'm seeing my first African sunrise at 5:45 am and many sweet children walking to school up and down hilly pot hole filled roads again.... God Bless them.  Now it's beginning to rain"

"Tons of little smiling faces will swam around you wanting to touch you and hold you hand"

"Peter prayed like I've never heard before, we sang, gave gifts to the teachers, I spoke words of encouragement to them, and needless 2 say I cried.  God was very good."

"I was schooled in worship today.  4 different sermons by 4 Ugandan ministers.  Preaching the likes of which you've never seen and singing as well... all under a big tree on the farm... I've never worshiped/prayed like that in my life..."

"I was asked to speak again twice today to the men.... one of the greatest experiences of my life... all in a ridiculously beautiful setting.  I'm in love with Africans.  And you all.  Love you all more than ever."

"I just stood 5 feet away from a baboon.  Our guide gave him a banana."

"Just got charged at by an elephant .....  we ran obviously.  It was not a full blown charge, 20-30 yards away....  speaking in church tomorrow, please pray"

"met the sweetest child this AM..... Charles.  Orphaned and at church all alone.  12 y.o. but looked  8 or 9..."

"safe in Amsterdam.. can't wait to see you all"

Last night we had dinner together. At home.  We talked about Phil's upcoming trip to Africa, heard his concerns which we can cover in prayer.  We talked about the upcoming basketball season with four teams (parents rotate, we've already mapped out the schedule).  We talked about Hannah's midstate choir audition on Saturday and how we are going to get her to Brentwood,  Phil off to the airport, David to a football game in Goodlettesville, etc...   

Our main challenges as parents have evolved as our kids have gotten older.   At ages 1,2,4,and 5, our challenges were fatigue, time alone EVER, consistency in "mothering", patience to name a few. And stomach virus's.    Ten years later, children ages 11,12,14, and 15, most of my challenges revolve around management of several key areas.  

Managing for everyone to get enough sleep (teens and preteens tend to procrastinate).   

Managing to get everyone where they need to go. Practices and activities are longer, later (or earlier - 6 am before school for example) and more frequent (3-5 times per week rather than 1 or 2).  Even with limits, 1 sport, 1 church, 1 music activity times 4 kids divided by 2 parents equals conflict management. 

Managing to eat dinner together EVER at whatever time is deemed necessary around Phil's ever changing shift and practices/meetings.  

Managing the laundry.  Maybe it is because everyones clothes are bigger?  Or maybe because they wear one thing to school, one to practice/game, and then another after practice? Maybe because we are rarely home?  Whatever the cause, laundry is a challenge I am not winning. 

Managing meaningful conversation with each other.   Phil and I together and with each child. There is sooo much to talk about, to talk through at these ages and when a teenager is ready to talk it is time to listen, sleep or no sleep.  Children this age are amazing to talk to as their family's values and opinions are wrestled through and become their own.  This can be delightful and heart wrenching all within the matter of 10 minutes.  

Some of the best of it happens around the dinner table, when we all can get there.  It may be at 4:30 or we may eat at 9, but when we get to sit down together, table set, candles lit, conversation flowing, oh how sweet it is.  

"Do you remember when we used to . ." Or sometimes it is "What about the time that. . ."  I love those words.  When I hear them I know my children are about to start recalling memories of our household growing up together, four children with in four and a half years of each other in age.  One memory leads to another,  most of them very ordinary daily occurrences, habits, terms of endearment, and the sweetest feeling of "family" floods over us as we laugh, a sense of being connected and loved.  I know these moments are common to every family, shared experience in growing up under one roof together, I have them with my own family as does Phil.  Some of ours are recorded somewhere in one of my many journals, incomplete baby books, captions in photo albums, but I want to periodically record them here as well, in postings titled: "Do you remember. . . . "   just so we don't permanently forget the time . . . . . . .

I'll start with one of my favorite stories.  Let me set the stage:

We were living in Edmond OK just outside of OK City where Phil was doing his Emergency Medicine residency at OU.  Hannah was 3 and a half, Peter had just turned 2 and David was about 5 months old.  Peter had been playing all morning in the room that he and David shared, and David, who was lying on a blanket watching Peter, had fallen asleep.  I decided to grab a quick shower while David was sleeping, so I got Hannah and Peter settled in the living room watching "Elmo", within earshot of David if he woke up.  I left them with the following instructions, reiterating what they had been told many times before:  

"Ok guys, mama is going to take a really quick shower.  You two stay right here, do not go outside, do not open the door, do not answer the phone.  If you hear David cry, come tell me right away but do not pick him up, do not give him anything to eat or drink (as had been attempted before), just come tell me.  If you need me, come get me.  Thank you for doing a good job...."  and I left to take my much needed shower JUST down the hall with all doors open so that I knew I could probably hear David if he cried.  

 

My shower was uneventful (this time)  and, feeling much refreshed, I went in to check on David.  I had heard nothing so I expected to find him sleeping.  Instead, I found his blanket EMPTY.    PANIC.  SICK FEELING.

I rushed into the living room and saw Hannah and Peter watching Elmo, and low and behold, David lying on the floor beside Peter, happy as a lark.  I was not happy as a lark.  Relieved, yes, but definitely not happy.  

"Peter",  I said, "Why is David in the living room?"  

"He woke up and wanted to be with us."

"

Why did you not come tell me he was crying?"

"He's not crying, he's happy."

"Why did you pick him up when I told you not to?"

"I didn't."

Hannah, realizing someone was in trouble, started to cry.  I didn't think little Hannah, sensible and cautious, would pick up David, but those tears were making her look suspicious.  

"Hannah, did you bring David into the living room?"

"No Mama!,"  Hannah wailed, hurt that I would even ask.

Back to Peter, the obvious perpetrator.

"Peter, you need to tell the truth.  Even if you disobeyed Mama, the right thing to do now is to tell the truth, and there will be a lot less trouble.  Did you pick up David and bring him to the living room to be with you and Hannah ?"  I asked with GENEROUS calm.

"No Mama," was his confused reply, baffled at why I did not believe him.  Historically Peter was very truthful, very black and white.  I was completely frustrated by his obvious and 

uncharacteristic deceit.  

Giving him one last chance, I said, "Peter, I am going to ask you one more time, did you carry David into the living room?"  

Head shake no.

Louder, less generously calm, "PETER, you are not telling the truth.  If you didn't carry David into the living room, HOW DID HE GET IN HERE?"

"I wolled him", said Peter. 

 translation:  I rolled him.

My "family notes" posts are intended to serve as glimpses into the current happenings of the household.  

The current happenings of the household this month are 

being defined by two words:

birthdays and football.  This month we will celebrate Phil's 

41st, Peter's 14th, and Cameron's 11th. That is a lot of desserts and great dinners in one month!

In addition, Peter, and David and Cameron are playing on three different football teams.  Peter is being stretched by his new role at quarterback, and David is thoroughly enjoying being an effective linebacker.  

 

 

Of course we love supporting Hannah's Oakland Patriots on Friday nights!  Oakland is having an amazing season and we are all enjoying being a part of high school football again!

  

We also enjoyed watching Hannah perform with Oakland Women's Choir in the homecoming variety show.  The show was 

so creative, wonderful.  The addition of choir to Hannah schedule has satisfied a desire for more music in her life.  She loves it very much.  Hannah is working hard at conditioning for the upcoming basketball season as well.

Another special September moment was the Ribbon Cutting ceremony and first home football game on the new athletic field at Providence. We have all enjoyed cheering Cameron on as part of the first football team at PCA and the first home game/tailgate was a very meaningful night. Cameron is doing a great job at his first year of football, playing both offense and defense with a great group of teammates. 

Next month:  Photos from Cameron's birthday, basketball season for all four draws near (85 games in 95  days), Phil off to Uganda Africa ....    

Stay tuned for the rest of the story......