My three boys are away. Hannah is busy with basketball and independence. Phil is working odd hours into evenings. Our house is so quiet, urgent demands on my time so reduced, and I am unwinding. The days before the boys left were overflowing with to do's and sleep was scarce. But now that I'm rested, I am floundering.
Bills to pay, pictures to hang, bunnies' cage to clean, newly seeded lawn to water, files to organize, photos to send, phone calls to return, albums to work on, closets to clean out, beds to make, plants to pot, repairs to schedule, groceries to buy, embroidery to finish, mission projects to plan, meals to cook, exercise to get. I don't feel like any of it. I miss them.
I think that I do not have enough time for all the things I want to do and need to do, and "if I didn't have to.... I could get everything done". Not true. Interesting.
Longing.
To hear my boys, to see what they are doing, talk about it, smell them.
To drive Hannah where she needs to go, talk on the way... on the way home.
To have Phil here at bedtime, read and talk.
Longing.
For family under my feet, in the house, noisy and happy and together.
Will wonders never cease.
