The words that I heard were, "no more bags tonight." I thought, "that is not right...." and looked around at the 15 others traveling with me. From what I could see, only 2 of us had any luggage, and those two only one bag each.
We were in a developing country. We were tired, so very tired from our 17 hour travel day and we were still hours from our destination. I was traveling with four children. To the desk I bebopped for reassurance that the remaining 27 bags belonging to our mission team were on the way. What I saw was a young girl who spoke very little, very polite English. I don't speak Spanish, but what I gathered from the conversations taking place did not provide the reassurance I was looking for.
Images of what our lost bags contained started flooding my mind. Packets of materials to teach embroidery to women, mosquito nets, our bedding, shoes other than the flip flips I was wearing, crafts kits and toys for the school children, bug spray, baby wipes, duct tape, underwear, flashlights, bed bug spray, toiletries (some very essential ones), all of our clothes, all of the massive amounts of equipment and supplies needed to complete a mission trip to the mountain villages of the Dominican Republic without electricity, hot water, or walmart. I can't describe the feeling of vulnerability that I felt as we left the airport near midnight with my husband, 4 kids, and nothing but my backpack.
Yes I can.
I felt needy.
There was nothing I could do about.
I felt out of control.
What is God doing?
We made a few stops that night, first at the home of the missionary who was hosting us where we were given sheets and a towel, nightgowns for the women. Second stop, a late night store to purchase the essential toiletries, one of several opportunities I would have over the next few days to redefine essential. The two other adult women on the trip and I slashed through the mental list of what is needed, a list that for me would have previously included moisturizer, hair plump, my shampoo, my favorite deodorant, mouth wash, three kinds of sunscreen, two kinds of bug spray (high% deet), eucalyptus lotion, body wash, on and on and on. We chose 2 bottles of shampoo, 3 spray deodorants, tooth brushes, and feminine products for the 16 team members to share. And we were ecstatic to have them. Hmmmmm. Clue #1.
Flashback: One week before
One week before our trip I was frustrated. It was fourth of July weekend and our air conditioning unit had quit working on Wednesday. We needed a new unit, but it couldn't be installed til Monday. I had been hot for 5 days and wasn't very happy. My dining room was teeming with mission trip supplies, clothes, craft kit materials, all waiting to be packed. Little did I know what was to come. It is kind of a blur now but I will try to hit the high points. Early in the week our dishwasher quit working, as did our washing machine. Washer needed a part that might be here on 5-6 days. Pretrip laundry with no washer, family of 6. Now I was hot, washing dishes by hand, and washing clothes in sink, at my mother's, and at laundry mat. Next, the hot water was only warm. Then it was cold. New hot water heater needed, can't be installed until after we leave for our trip. Now we are hot, washing clothes and dishes by hand in cold water, cold showers. Add two toilets not working properly. This is sounding a lot like living in the Dominican Republic. Clue #2
As our house continued to "fall apart" upon the discovery of water under our hard wood, failed attempts at repairs, and on and on, I finally become amused. What more could happen? What did it matter? We were almost packed, prepared and ready to spend a week in the mountains of the DR that we love, our family together. It seemed like an escape from the chaos that home had become. I even said, "I never thought I would say that I can't wait to leave for our mission trip to rest and relax."
Flash forward again, one week:
In a truck driving up into the mountains of the DR to our camp at 3AM. Thinking about what we don't have. Trying to regroup and plan.... with out anything. Having slept about two hours the night before we left, now dreading another near sleepless night.
Texts start coming to my phone from friends who are praying.
"I will praise the Lord who counsels me... even at night my heart instructs me."
"Know how far God is willing to go to prove His love for us. He will never leave us."
"Keep looking for Me and trust Me, I am bringing something special."
"Texts" start coming to my mind from God who is loving.
Hold on loosely to your plans, they are not My plans.
This is how they feel. Who? The women.
Love them, as I love you. Let Me love them through you.
You don't need your stuff, but boy do you need Me.
I am stripping away to fill you up. I am stripping away so I can love you. Let me love you.
I scribbled these down on a piece of paper by the light of my phone, not wanting to miss the moment.
As the next two days passed, as we rewore our clothes, shared any small thing we had, rejoiced over a clean pair of underwear supplied by our hosts, and discovered the joy of virtually no possessions to clutter our space, the revelations kept coming. Of the 11 ministry bags we checked in Nashville, we received only one: the one needed for the first day of ministry, and it contained only the essentials, no props or costumes, no frills. We made up for that with enthusiasm and love. We had no supplies to teach embroidery to women on the 2nd day, and then learned that leftover kits from last year were on site, the exact number needed for the women who were present. Some of us slept without netting, yet mosquitos were not an issue. The toiletries we had to share never ran out.
Was every moment perfect? Certainly not. For our family mishaps continued in the form of a severely infected bite on Cameron's leg (even PHIL was concerned), David being hit in the head with a shovel, and Peter experiencing what was, in retrospect, a potentially devastating fall into a cement block pit in the pitch black dark.
Was God sufficient? Abundantly so. Healing, protection, provision, joy, rest, peace, and then, on the third day of our trip...... our luggage. In his mercy, our "trial" only lasted as long as necessary to teach the lessons. Prove the love. Show that we can do thing we do not think we can do. How can I still need Him to prove it, require hardship to learn the lessons? Keep teaching Lord, keep teaching.
At the very least might I remember to hold on loosely and lift my eyes from my plans and my things, my preparations and my comforts, lift my eyes to the One from whom all help comes.
Psalm 33:18-22
Watch this: God's eye is on those who revere him,
the ones who are looking for his love.
He's ready to come to their rescue in bad times;
in lean times he keeps body and soul together.
We're depending on God;
he's everything we need.
What's more, our hearts brim with joy
since we've taken for our own his holy name.
Love us, God, with all you've got—
that's what we're depending on.
